Humorous quotes & sayings

These humorous quotes and humorous sayings are from our famous and inspiring quotes collection.
Topics:  A   B   C   D   E   F   G   H   I   J   K   L   M   N   O   P   Q   R   S   T   U   V   W   Y   Z

Don't worry. If you keep him long enough he'll come back in style. - Dorothy Parker

Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe. - Dorothy Parker

Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer. - Mark Twain

It is a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best you very often get it. - W. Somerset Maugham

It is known by the name of perseverance in a good cause, and of obstinacy in a bad one. - Laurence Sterne

I had thought, on starting this composition, that I should define what humor means to me. However, every time I tried to, I had to go and lie down with a cold wet cloth on my head. - Dorothy Parker

Brevity is the soul of lingerie. - Dorothy Parker

Nothing is funnier than unhappiness, I grant you that. Yes, yes, it's the most comical thing in the world. - Samuel Beckett

People are more fun than anybody. - Dorothy Parker

I want a house that has got over all its troubles; I don't want to spend the rest of my life bringing up a young and inexperienced house. - Jerome K. Jerome

Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. - Mark Twain