Funny Sayings & Quotes

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Funny Sayings & Quotes

These funny sayings, quotes and quotations are from our famous and inspiring Just-Quotes collection.
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It is a difficult thing to like anybody else's ideas of being funny. - Gertrude Stein


A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book. - Ernest Hemingway


I'm not funny. What I am is brave. - Lucille Ball


Funny how the new things are the old things. - Joseph Rudyard Kipling


Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie, a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion. - George Orwell


I never dare to write As funny as I can. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.


If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress. - Will Rogers


Life does not cease to be funny when people die; any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. - George Bernard Shaw


Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious. - Peter Ustinov


Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny, did you ever try buying them without money? - Ogden Nash


Life does not require us to be consistent, cruel, patient, helpful, angry, rational, thoughtless, loving, rash, open-minded, neurotic, careful, rigid, tolerant, wasteful, rich, downtrodden, gentle, sick, considerate, funny, stupid, healthy, greedy, beautiful, lazy, responsive, foolish, sharing, pressured, intimate, hedonistic, industrious, manipulative, insightful, capricious, wise, selfish, kind or sacrificed. Life does, however, require us to live with the consequences of our choices. - Richard David Bach


What do you mean, funny? Funny-peculiar or funny-ha-ha? - Ian Hay


It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse. - Adlai Ewing Stevenson


They say he's [Yogi Berra] funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What's funny about that? - Casey Dillon Stengel


It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean. - Mae West


It is a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best you very often get it. - William Somerset Maugham


And the thing about my jokes is, they don't hurt anybody. You can take 'em or leave 'em, you can say they're funny or they're terrible or they're good, or whatever, but you can just pass 'em by. But with Congress, every time they make a joke, it's a law! And every time they make a law, it's a joke! - Will Rogers


Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave. - Quentin Crisp


If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you. - Billy Wilder


It's a funny thing, the more I practice the luckier I get. - Arnold Palmer


Funny business, a woman's career: the things you drop on the way up the ladder so you can move faster. You forget you'll need them again when you get back to being a woman. It's one career all females have in common, whether we like it or not: being a woman. Sooner or later, we've got to work at it, no matter how many other careers we've had or wanted. - Joseph L. Mankiewicz


The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I've found it!), but 'That's funny.' - Isaac Asimov


I think being funny is not anyone's first choice. - Woody Allen


This funny thing called love. - Cole Porter